Why are there no more Light Brown M&Ms?

This started as a comment on Mo’s Blog but got out of control on me so I made it a full fledged post.

Today on Mo’s blog “We’re In a Fight” she posed many questions. And one of the questions was “Why are there still brown M&Ms?” I however ask the question, “Why isn’t the Brown M&Ms represented as a Character like the other M&M’s?”

You know Brown is gonna be a black M&Ms. It is obvious but it may not be seen as something that can be pulled off in a “politically correct” way. Black people eat M&Ms too, why aren’t they represented. Brown could be a a sexy female M&M like Green and thus give the Male M&M’s another female Character to drool over.

Yes, I said that Green was sexy, I know she is candy, but she was made for her sex appeal especially because of her ties to “the bases” from that commercial back in the day when that kid was talking about hitting baseballs and what each M&Ms helped him accomplish. Don’t remember it? Then you are either too old, too young or too out of touch. Here is a site that recaps that ‘Magnificent’ commercial, and you can download a very crappy version of the commercial too.

Right now the M&Ms Pantheon is just like the Smurfs, just one girl to go around all those guys. I say bring on the chocolate candy shelled Nubian goddess.

Okay, back on topic. Let’s say that they make the Brown M&Ms a sexy girl M&Ms voiced by someone like say… Queen Latifa. She could be Green’s friend. She could also be a strong, sophisticated woman. She’s already doing Pizza Hut commercials, M&Ms would be a step up.

However, the ad execs may be tempted to make her from the ‘hood. For example, she’d be all like “Green please, we all chocolate on the inside, why you hiding your chocolate-i-ness in that green candy shell. I’m what you see is what you get. Inside and out. Damn shame about my Mocha Brotha. He doesn’t get any more bag time.” (Yes, that was a shout out to the Light Brown M&Ms that disappeared without a trace).

But Brown doesn’t have to be like that she could be strong and sophisticated. Brown could also have the distinction of being the Almond M&Ms or Dark Chocolate M&Ms, more sophistication than the Peanut M&Ms and then bring Light Brown back to represent Peanut Butter. Thus completing the M&Ms flavor Pantheon.

Don’t even get me started about Mint, although Green could technically be a Mint M&Ms, her inside has not been determined. But wait, what type is Blue? Is he Peanut also? He’s big and lumpy like Yellow. Clearly Red is Milk Chocolate and Yellow is Peanut and Orange is Crispy. Green is assumed to be Milk Chocolate but could be Mint. Blue is assumed to be Peanut but could be Almond. And the Brown M&Ms is not represented among the full sized M&Ms however Brown has at least 3 character names in the M&Ms minis. I say unfair. Who cares about the minis?

I just checked the M&Ms website to see about Characters and I found the Character page. Again nothing definitive about the insides of Green, and Blue.

In my quest to find out what happened to the Light Brown M&Ms I came across this site. The Book Online M&Ms Through History

Mo you are an inspiration of silly quests for answers to life’s most sought after questions.

10 thoughts on “Why are there no more Light Brown M&Ms?”

  1. I wonder if M&M’s believe in poligamy?

    Or maybe their just a free love society or something. with those hard coated candy shells they probably do not have to many issues with STDs nor unwanted pregnancies.

    It raises the slightly disturbing question of what does it take for an M&M to get her rocks candy off?

  2. I miss the light brown M&M too…they all taste the same but the experience is different. It’s all about sensory perception. I’d love to see them bring it back…I can do without a blue one!

  3. EXACTLY! While the light brown ones tasted no different I do miss them. This was back when red was not there and neither was blue. I think at the time the rumor was red was bad for you or something. Weird.

  4. Caroline,
    I think that she is Dark Chocolate. And you are right about Blue, almond. Peanut butter is a little fatter then the other M&M’s and certainly not the look that Green is going for. Yeah, she is sexy and dark chocolate (at least as sexy as she is to the other M&M’s.) 🙂

  5. Blue replaced light brown and I’ve NEVER eaten a blue one. My little protest :-). The light brown tasted the best !!!

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